I Take Charge of My Life

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

*von* -> I always tot tat I wun b so useless and will be strong enuff at least not to cry in the public, I guess too many things are piling up ...too much for mi to take. I dun wish to show my weakness in front of him.. how useless I am..but i still did ..sigh.

Feeling lousy at e start of the day( i mean yest).. wake up late..end up dear oso woke up late..cannot meet dear for breakfast..wana take tp shuttle bus but miss it..walk to interchange( hopin to catch a glimpse of dear..no chance) =( .. ended up in bus 69 at 7.54am-_-". Tats not all.. when i was crossing e rd to sch.. nearly kena knocked by lorry.. oh my..

Felt kinda stress in sch.. dunno y oso.. when i saw serene's portfolio n mine.. I feel lyk digging a hole and juz hide away from everyone. It was hell worlds apart. Started to feel depress.. started to tink y am i so different from others.. y am i so dumb y am i so stupid y am i so barka etc etc...

Got back iten term test result in the ltr prt of the day.. 31/40..which is abt 77% or simply a B. Not bad hor..hehe...

When lesson FINALLY ended...i am sooo happy cos can c dear liao..hehe waited a while for him to finish his work den we go walk walk eat eat.. e unhappy part starts when he saw my portfolio and scolded mi.. kinda feel rejected.. quote wat he said:" y all F 1? ger where gt lyk tat 1.. xinyu one all C and D.." Even dear despise mi..tink of mi as hopeless..he muz b tinkin y other ppl's gf so gd so smart y his one so stupid.. I dunno.

The more i tink of it e more i wana cry..its worst when dear showered mi wif love when my eyes begin to get watery. I dun deserve e love hes giving mi..dun treat mi too gd..i dun tink i deserve it..im nt gd enuff for it.... Tats exactly wat Im tinkin at tat moment. sigh.. thou dear's word is encouraging..but it is onli temporary.. Will dear get sick and tired of mi in the long run..will dear find mi not as gd as others?

gave dearie a morning call tis morning.. he said he no longer have e "xiao lu luan zhuang" e feeling for mi anymore...does it mean he is beginning to dislike mi...sigh...

Anyway, tanks dear for the camera and for everythin u did for mi for the past 10+ mths( goin to 11 mths liao..).. i appreciate it a million and zillion times.. =)))))) I realli do and to end it all..I would lyk to say a BIG THANK YOU to dearie and i love u (blush..)

MicVon @ 7/26/2005 08:36:00 AM | comment

~IntrO~

Yvonne
21
Student

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